I will not reveal my source but a friend of mine wrote this and sent it to me. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. Sorry Bradley James fans. :/
Bradley James was naked. And on top of you. His strong arms wrapped around you. Whispering in your ear. He was sweating. And grunting. And perfect. And you’re happy. At least you should be happy. Right? Right?Wrong.”Um…” you tap on his shoulder. He continues his…thrusting? At least that’s what you think he’s doing. You try again. He grunts even louder. At least one of you is enjoying this. You push his shoulders a little harder than was really necessary. He finally gets the hint.He raises up. Both his hands on the opposite side of your head. His hair slick with sweat, plastered to his face. “What is it?” he asks, breathing heavily. Was he really enjoying this?”Well…” you start, wondering how to put this delicately. “Is it in…yet?”“Wha…?” His cheeks flush. “It…”“Let me just…” Your hands move down to where…”Nnnngghh!” He comes. But you barely even touched him. At least you don’t think…He rolls off of you, a huge grin on his face. “That was brilliant!”You’re laying there wondering when it even started. You raise up on your elbows and exam the body lying next to you.”Where is it?” you ask, leaning closer to get a better look. You look at the almost delirious face, eyes closed, smile permanently plastered on his face. He was so perfect. His perfect golden hair. Perfect teeth. Perfect abs. Your eyes move even lower following the trail of light brown hair leading to his… “Where is it?” you ask again.”Where’s what?” he asks, and finally opens his eyes. He follows your gaze and his cheeks flush. “Oh,” is all he manages.After a few minutes of the two of you just staring at - well, where its supposed to be - he finally says, “Its…its right there…” He shakes his hips, side to side and looks at you. When he realizes your confused expression hasn’t changed he shakes his hips again, up and down this time. Still you see nothing.You both lie there in silence until finally you start laughing. You laugh so hard your face turns red. You have to clutch your stomach. Its too much. You try to - unsuccessfully - suck in some air.He gets up with a huff. And starts pulling on his clothes.”No wait… Wait…” You manage between breaths trying to regain your composure. He stands there, half dressed, angry. “You can’t tell me this is the first time someone has laughed you out of bed?” And you start laughing again. He races out still half dressed.Well this night didn’t go exactly as planned…
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